The Marina Experiment

Viewer Comments

Posted on November 14, 2017 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment

To add to the current #metoo conversation, my distributor Kanopy has featured my film on their Speak Out Against Assault online bookshelf.
Please watch.


Music: Mick Harvey  Narration Direction: Ettore Siracusa  RT: 17:38

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If you click Watch Now and find your library doesn’t offer Kanopy yet,
please complete the form provided to request Kanopy for your library.

“When I heard your story, I was floored. I had to find some way to reach out to you, perhaps in some way apologizing to you on behalf of all men. I am humbled and overcome with outrage at the abuse you suffered, and concerned for the pain you still endure.”

“As an artist, as a woman, you are showing women how to have feelings again. Complicated feelings. You make it look good.”     

“Thank you for showing us the depravity of your fathers kind, so that we can be outraged and call it abnormal, too.”  

“Your father not only deprived you of a childhood, but himself from truly enjoying his own child. I hope your documentary efforts are yielding fruits of healing and I know many of my friends are following this story. Make the best of your life and through your leadership, inspire others to do the same.”

“The astounding visual sense you bring to such jarring material is rare – It’s like you are furiously painting.”

“Stark and direct and scary and honest … and beautifully made.”

“You’re courageous and cool, and inspiring. I hope to see this film everywhere.”

“You are a remarkable woman to be able to use your anger in such a creative venue and your life ahead holds so much promise.”

“The Marina Experiment should be seen by everyone who has survived abuse and everyone who is planning on having children.”

“Thank you for making this film, I had no idea anyone else had experienced anything at all like I had.”

“Vulnerable, uncomfortably raw and captivating.”

“Finding people like you, and finding ways to put words on a very confusing experience helps me in ways I didn’t know were possible.”

“I think you have so much courage to do this and I’m sure it’s going to help a lot of people.”

“You RULE, and are an inspiration!”


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Posted on November 14, 2017 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment

I once had a father named Abe
who treated me like a hot babe
he lecherously stared
while he photographed me bare
so my home felt like Abu Ghraib


Posted on November 14, 2017 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment

I have made a piece of art out of child abuse.  Sorting and resorting and editing the facts that are the source of my fury and my grief. I imagined I was desensitized, but every time I go back, I find new shards.

I am not a victim or a survivor. I don’t identify with these labels. I am an opponent. The enemy. The more people see my film the more I win. I have turned something hurtful into retribution. My father would be mortified. He would bare my backside and put me over his knees and spank me roughly and mercilessly and then lock me in my room. The spanking must have felt sexual, because now, just a hand mistakenly grazed past my posterior, perhaps on a crowded train, feels violating. Read more


Posted on November 14, 2017 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment

The NY Times published an article about the Larry Rivers archive, which was purchased by NYU for an undisclosed price. The  archive includes films and videos of Rivers’ two adolescent daughters, naked or topless, being interviewed by him about their developing breasts. Although my father was not a famous artist, he documented himself watching me in inappropriate ways, just like Larry. Was this a trend in 1970’s Manhattan? Read more



Posted on November 12, 2017 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment

a kiss on the lips
I lock the door to my room
is he really dead?


Posted on November 10, 2017 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment

he does not hear me
in my eyes he sees himself
I am traumatized


Posted on November 6, 2017 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment

A father experiments on his daughter by communicating with her solely through cameras and audio recording devices. This is the first in a never-ending series, where the pitfalls of his parenting technique are examined, ridiculed and lamented.

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Editorial Retraction regarding the life of Abbot Lutz 1917-1985

Posted on December 5, 2012 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment

The final report from the investigation committee, which consists of the only child of Abbot Lutz, has concluded that Abbot Lutz engaged in sexual misconduct and that his mind contained heaps of fabricated data used to intimidate and terrorize his only child with the intention of making himself more dominant. The Investigation Committee reported that the data (hereinafter referred to as “evidence”) left to his only child has caused irreparable harm. Any findings previously reported in his New York Times obituary are deemed false and invalid. Furthermore, the committee found that the evidence collected proved disturbing and furtive. Because the final report of the investigation indicated that a significant amount of the evidence put forward by Abbot Lutz in photographs, super 8 film and reel to reel audio tape was conceived with the intent to satisfy his narcissistic urges, the editors of his obituary feel that an immediate and unconditional retraction of his “good” name is needed. We therefore retract any positive statements made about the deceased and advise his family and “friends” that anything favorable reported about him is deemed to be invalid.

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Posted on November 14, 2012 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment

You might read my writing and think how sad I am
but really I am no sadder than you.



Posted on July 4, 2012 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment

I strain to get to a word. It is imprisoned by my skull no window through my eyes.

My mother had collapsed onto her bad hip and her hand was firmly clutching nothing. A gang of teenagers had broken into the house and raped her while she was holding a dollar bill and then the fireplace started to melt, she said.

Spinal tap, brain biopsy, dementia of unknown origin. The doctors said it would happen to me too. That grim prediction.

And now I strain to get to a word.

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